ARTICULATING THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY
Jane met Bob and said to her friends; “oh he’s a lovely spiritual person.” We ask, what does that even mean? (also that's not Bob in the picture - thats a bear). Is Bob interested in the metaphysical, does he attend church, is he a bit loopy, or does he smoke too much cannabis? Maybe Bob’s just a chilled out personality and likes being left alone? Who knows. But none of these things make Bob a spiritual person. Not really. “Spiritual” is a very loose term, often stigmatised and usually misunderstood and over used. If that’s what spiritual is not, then what is it.
Spirituality is not only having a sense of the great beyond; it is also making some sort of connection with it, and allowing it to help shape your life. It has nothing to do with ‘belief.’ Folks might ‘believe’ something to be true, but that doesn’t make it so. Faith and spirituality are more of an investigation into the meaning of life, than a belief, or an assent to a set of ideas that are passed from an institution to an individual, or from one person to another. That’s governance. Having said that, we acknowledge there are some really good religious structures that create a context for faith and spirituality to develop and without them spirituality would not be perpetuated.
No one can articulate your spiritual journey for you, but there are maybe some key concepts that are a guide to a palpable spirituality, if properly understood. You could write a book on each but we’re just here to introduce the concepts.
1. Coming to terms with our own powerlessness and lack of control. The only thing we really have an element of control over is ourselves. Then, only in part. We are subject to the ebbs and flows of life, health, relationships and circumstances which come and go; some pleasurable, some painful. Understanding we are not the masters of our own universe is the starting point. Doing so ushers in a degree of humility, right-sizes the ego, and paradoxically may allow a power beyond us to enter our lives. Doing so is frightening, but it is the first step. It is also a significant step in overcoming fear. People who realise this tend to be warm and accepting, cherishing each moment of life as a gift. Those who don’t - well you can watch them trying to control and order their lives, and usually other people’s lives. They usually fail and are often frustrated. They are the fearful people.
2. The next step is to develop a sense of awareness. Religious orders have practiced self awareness for centuries. Recently more modern practices have evolved and people think they have reinvented awareness. They usually call it mindfulness and other elaborate titles. Call it what you want, but awareness is not a new invention. Awareness embraces two different processes. One is to reflect on ones own state of mind, emotions and behaviour. These things are inseparable as they interplay with one another (known as cognitive fusion). For example how you feel will effect what you think, and how you behave. The purpose of awareness is to discover what you have done and why you do it that way. Then, try to learn if there are other ways of doing it by reflecting on your experience. Talk, read, and discover yourself. The second form of awareness is body awareness. This refers to the body and our senses as the interface between soul and environment. Words are of little use for body awareness. We best learn this form animals who enjoy a gentle breeze in their face, and bathe in the warmth of the sun (while humans scamper about with material things). In other words, in our bodily awareness we enter a state in which the mystery beyond us actually comes to us. It can’t be forced, or made to happen any other way.
3. The practice of confession is a good one. We don't have to front up to the confessional to do this - confession means we are honest about who we are, and we do it in the context of a community. Humans hate this. Most mental health issues are underpinned by “fear and a lie.” The lie is not so much a moral misdemeanour, as it is a way of deceiving ourselves. A lie is just a way of avoiding a painful truth. People lie big, and people lie small. It is difficult to be truly honest about ourselves. Yet, you cant really claim to be a spiritual person if you are deceiving yourself and others about who you really are. It would be a lack of integrity. Sure you have to pick who you tell. No doubt that is smart. Honesty through confession keeps our ego small, and helps us understand we are just one small grain of sand in the vast scheme of things. It is not about becoming perfect, it is about avoiding falsehood, connecting to another, and being authentic.
4. Embracing our own humanity and getting our needs met is rather important. If our needs are not met, we will behave badly. Depending on the behaviours we use to compensate for our fears, we are at risk of self destruction or harming others. What humanity generally sees as it's individual deficit, can often be turned around simply by identifying basic need and having those needs met in healthy way. This does not mean desire for non essential items. Basic needs are things like security, connection, and intimacy. People who feel safe and close to someone else, and who have a purpose in their life are generally content and warm people to be around. They are people who develop into a higher state of existence.
5. Learning to be in relationship. No one can be self centred and be in a mutually rewarding relationship. Those who attempt it, are either single, without friends, or their partner is suffocating under the tyranny of their rule. Relationship requires intimacy (feeling of closeness), security (confidence the other person will consider me), and a basic desire to be together - either as friends, lovers or partners. It is the through the mechanism of human relationship that we realise that we can also be in relationship with the ‘meaning of life’ business. We need to be loved, before we can be loving. When we are in loving relationship, the world seems a far better place.
6. A Spiritual Practice. There is a myriad of spiritual practices and we have to find what is right for us. Look for that which is life giving. Look for that which proves to be a sensible synthesis of symbol, prayer, silence, beauty, loving, challenging, gives you room to move, and is sustainable over a long period of time. Don't just head toward the ‘feel good’ or trendy mechanisms. We need to be loved but we also need to learn and to be challenged. We need to connect. We need solid friends within a community.
7. Charity and generosity. This is perhaps the litmus test, and we are back where we started this blog; i.e. you cant claim to be spiritual if you are self centred. Surrender, awareness, having needs met and saying your prayers are one thing. But allowing your own transformation to project outwards and find expression in kindness and responsibility. Without that, our spirituality would be just self-proclaimed and empty, without purpose, and probably not spiritual.
So we think being spiritual is not necessarily a thunderbolt experience. But even when some folks claim they have an extraordinary experience, right or wrong, mad or sane, they still have to come back to their ordinary lives. There are clear steps for you to take if you are serious, and for the sake of a bit of humility - anyone who is not a psychopath can do it. We don't wish this article to appear prescriptive, as that would be counter productive. These are just some solid concepts based on a sustainable practice over many years.
Oh and by the way, Jane dumped Bob after she read this article. Lucky Jane.
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